Published to FB Notes November 6 2017
For the last few days, I had to consciously decide not to fight with avatars on the internet who felt that they can pass judgement on people they do not know, who, unlike these avatars, opt-out of fear and opt-in to experiencing the world and sharing it with their children.
I know that behind the browser people can get really bold and say horrible judgmental things about a family who chooses to explore the world in spite of the dangers that lurk outside of our “safe” country. People get really brave about the assessments they make of parents who are complete strangers to them. The internet can make the low and worthless feel really high and mighty as they sit behind their computers eating McDonald’s and taking the time to drop their unsolicited comments about a life they know nothing about.
Americans live in a world where people are fucking afraid to leave their kids alone in the car to return a shopping cart. We live amongst superheroes who thrive on photographing nannies and posting those photos to FB groups thinking this is a way to save lives of children who are not even in danger. We also live in a world where 50+ people, including the best friend of my friend was killed at a concert, where 4 people were shot and killed shopping at Walmart and 8 people, many tourists, were killed while walking around and enjoying a beautiful day in NYC. Where are the comments sections of people judging the Belgian tourists for coming to NYC. Don’t they know how dangerous it is here in the United States? My sister was killed in a car accident when she was 15. My nephew killed in an accident when he was 6. Halloween night my friend was nearly killed in a hit and run leaving his friend’s show at The Viper Room. Yesterday, 26 people were killed in the place where they should be safe. In AMERICA. In the house of the Lord. Is no place sacred? Is no place SAFE? NO.
THERE IS LITERALLY DANGER EVERYWHERE. Every time we get in a car, the likelihood of getting in a car accident is exponentially higher than your child getting kidnapped by a stranger. Yet we drive every day and this co-exists with being too fucking scared to leave your child in your car while you pay for your gas. Being scared to let your child walk to the park exists in the same space where a huge percentage of the population does very little to exercise what little power we have to keep our neighbors from owning mass-casualty creating assault rifles. This kind of selective practice of fear is something that I find confounding.
I also want to use this time to remind you all that there are people who actually LIVE in South America.
And some of those people are parents…WITH CHILDREN.
YES. FAMILIES LIVE IN SOUTH AMERICA.
Where is your faux outrage of the families LIVING IN SOUTH AMERICA? Don’t they know how DANGEROUS IT IS? It is because of our own biases that we think a White American family who doesn’t have to live in South America are doing so because of some kind of dangerous thrill seeking that they are exposing their unwilling and non-consenting children to. Or maybe, raising children in a different country is a really incredible and beautiful thing. Just because YOU want to live in America with your paved roads, Starbucks drive-through, Weekly Disneyland trips and walled classrooms doesn’t mean that is the RIGHT way to do it. (CAVEAT: I just described MYSELF there.)
I know people who have never owned a passport in their lives. I know people who didn’t fly on planes until they were 20, 30, sometimes 40 years old. How small and tiny is their world? Of course you people are afraid of a life where every morning you can have a different view every day if you choose to. When you are okay with waking up to the same wall day in and out, something different can be scary. I personally find that life sad, but I don’t go commenting on your unremarkable life and talking about the dangers of diabetes people who sit on their ass all day will develop or the dangers of being small minded. That is because how you choose to live your life doesn’t affect ME. And the way other people choose to live their lives, fearless and unrestrained and in extreme excellence, shouldn’t affect your life.
So think whatever you want to think about a life you will never be brave enough to live.
It’s more a commentary on YOU and the small tiny world you have decided to keep yourself a prisoner in.
A small and tiny world that has proven itself to be just as dangerous as a world were river pirates are a thing.
Or, if danger is really something that concerns you, stop concerning yourself with the “dangerous” world fearless people choose to not be afraid of and concern yourself with the TRULY DANGEROUS world we, Americans, REALLY live in.
A world where mass shootings at churches and schools are a regular occurrence.
And if you are really and truly concerned with keeping people safe in a dangerous world, then do something to fix the dangerous world WE are living in NOW.
